hotel room ftw
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
