i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
