i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize