why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
