you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
