u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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