i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize