Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
