Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
