Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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