i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
