I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
