First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
