I just threw up on my dentist
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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