i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize