Swine flu. Run for my life!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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