If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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