Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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