do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
