READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
