get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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