they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
