one might say we're banned from that church
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize