i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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