I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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