just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
