Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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