When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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