you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
