Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
