I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
