I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
