WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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