marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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