there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
