i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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