i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
