maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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