Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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