Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
