What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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