I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
