Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
