Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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