Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize