Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
