I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
