I just pynch a tree in the face
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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