That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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