hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
