this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
