Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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