I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
