he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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