There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
