Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
