Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
