There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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